the sea dog

gngr, sweet gingerino
i feel so sad today
i don't know why
sad
all day long
being sad
all day long
can't focus on anything
and i really need to
tomorrow's an exam
but i can't stop feeling sad
driven by this
inner
something
desire?
longing?
and it's lightly frustrating
[but only lightly
because sadness is the main emotion]
can't find my place today
don't know what to do
i'm afraid something's going to happen
like i'll fail
and my always on the run nature
will sabotage my studies
i'll take off
unexpectedly
[although people should be already used to me, my nature, my behaviour]
what is this feeling
that haunts me today?
the day seemed so beautiful and simple when it started
sun
bright, blue sky
gentle, warm wind
and now it's almost 4pm
i didn't do anything
can't do anything concrete

[i'm] spoiled. pampered. chimerical. whimsical.

maybe i should go out for a walk and smoke lots of cigarettes, smoke myself to death?


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