it's 1:59am, it's 7:50pm, what are you doing? [i'm right here.]

it's the resolutions to be better, smarter, wiser, educated, developed
it's the plans to move, to go
it's the pile of clothes i go trough making the bed
it's the jacket, the belt, the high leather shoes
it's the mess, the papers, the books and cups, the mints on the desk
it's the peanut butter eaten with a large spoon straight from the jar
it's the sounds, the music, can you hear it? can you har it? the carnivale in my room right after the funeral
it's the gulag orchestra playing when everybody around is already asleep
it's the new pack of cigarettes, right after i gave up
it's the steps, it's the dream of making steps in the air
it's how i spin around, hands mid-air, and the ideas in my head swirl
it's what i am to others and how they see me, and how i am free
it's the picture of you smiling in Amsterdam I can only look at
from the vacations we never took together