we are the homeless. and so are you.

confessions of a dinner whore

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

now i'm seventeen, fourteen is so last sunday



i said i wish you never knew
how i feel for you
it's hard to be just friends now after all
i said i wanted more
he said how can you be so sure
i'm not sure i'm faithful after all

but i'm still happy when i get to hold his hand
he says i can hold it but remember we're just friends
and i try, and i try, and i try to be satisfied
after all he keeps me alive

i'm happy when he smiles
if only for awhile
it's hard to just ignore a face like that
i wish he was everywhere
i wish his hand was in my hair
i would have been less lonely for a while

but i'm still happy when i get to hold his hand
he says i can hold it but remember we're just friends
and i try, and i try, and i try to be satisfied
after all he keeps me alive

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Monday, April 28, 2008

spring break, coffee break, brake up



"The truth of the matter is- I'm just going to push on. I love gay men and I love gay sex. I love being gay and I love having sex. Never will it be an intention of mine to scare gay men out of having sex. I want gay men to have sex. I want gay men to enjoy sex and I want gay men to know that sex can exist in it's most hottest and passionate forms when you feel as though you know what you're doing and are in control of what you're doing. It will always be an intention to be as honest and forthright as possible and if fear comes into play while I try to translate certain realities of mine and maybe other's gay experience than all I can say is...So be it."

Eric Leven

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Sunday, April 27, 2008

why i am a fourteen-year-old girl

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Saturday, April 26, 2008

cake & spirituality

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Friday, April 25, 2008

hope as moisturizer, apply daily

"As the mother of a gay son, I've seen firsthand how cruel and misguided people can be.

Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I've taken enough from you good people.

I'm tired of your foolish rhetoric about the "homosexual agenda" and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny. My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay. He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other
boys. He was called "fag" incessantly, starting when he was 6.

In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn't bear to continue living any longer, that he didn't want to be gay and that he couldn't face a life without dignity.

You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don't know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn't put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it's about time you started doing that.

At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won't get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don't know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty
that it is inborn.

If you want to tout your own morality, you'd best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I'm puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that's not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?

A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I'll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for "true Vermonters."

You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn't give their lives so that the "homosexual agenda" could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.

He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn't the measure of the man.

You religious folk just can't bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance. How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage.

You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin. The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about "those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing" asks: "What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?"

Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?"

Sharon Underwood
Valley News
April 30, 2000

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Thursday, April 24, 2008

till the cows come home

"he thought how pleasant it would be to have a warm fire to sit by and a good dinner to sit down to. he had walked the streets long enough with friends and with girls.
[...]
experience had embittered his heart against the world. but all hope had not left him.
[...]
he might yet be able to settle down in some snug corner and live happily [...] ."

james joyce, 'dubliners'

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Monday, April 21, 2008

better open than closed

"if i could unbreak hearts, beautiful boy, i'd unbreak yours without hesitation..."


kind uncle Duncan

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Sunday, April 20, 2008

a fag & some flipping








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Saturday, April 19, 2008

winter sale at prada

[before]




[after]

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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

how dangerous is an open heart?

and the rattlesnake said,
"i wish i had hands so
i could hug you like a man."
and then the cactus said,
"don't you understand,
my skin is covered with sharp spikes
that'll stab you like a thousand knives.
a hug would be nice,
but hug my flower with your eyes."


antsy pants, 'tree hugger'

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